


Smooth Criminal

by bipolarbunny



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prohibition Era, Crimes & Criminals, Detectives, Fire escape accident, M/M, Prohibition, Table Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-13 19:36:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7983640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bipolarbunny/pseuds/bipolarbunny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ed's job is on the line, but he is on the table.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smooth Criminal

**Author's Note:**

> Normal disclaimer - I do not own these characters just use them as I see fit. I make no profit off this work.  
> Now- enjoy, and don't forget kudos and comments.

“ELRIC! You haven't solved a case in two months, what does that tell me?”  
“Business has been slow.”  
“My patience is running short Elric.”  
“Who you calling-”  
“SHUT UP! If you can't solve a case then I have to take you off salary.” Chief Hakuro slammed his palm on the desk between them.  
“Look not my fault you keep giving me dead end cases or the culprit is arrested for a drunk and disorderly before I could make my move.”  
“Look Elric I can't keep you on payroll. You will be moved to commissioned starting today until your record gets back up to where it once was.”  
“Fine have it your way old man.” Ed removed himself from the office and began to clear his desk of his belongings. He absently listened to the scanner tucked back in the corner of the large room. He sat down in the chair that was once his, now it will belong to some upstart rookie who thought they were tough shit. He lay his head on his arms and decided to take a nap, not that he was tired but now he couldn't get yelled at for it.  
Ed awoke with a start, the scanner making a familiar of noises   
“Alarm at Staton Museum 1232 Belleview Drive.”  
Belleview was close by and Ed knew a shortcut he could take and get there before the others – probably. He took the stairs up by twos to the roof. This should be workable -maybe. He took a running start and jumped up the ajoining buildings towards Belleveiw. His last part was a fire escape down into an alley way. He heard sirens around the corner of the building. He kicked the last ladder down and slid down onto a human laying on the ground. Shit, he hit a civilian with the ladder. He attempted to help the man up only to have him be pushed away as the man grabbed is bowler hat and set off in a full run.  
There was only one reason someone ran from an area with sirens. They were guilty of something. He followed the person as close to his heels as he could be, the man was quick and in shape, but Ed was in better shape and the others energy was draining quickly. The sides of the mans long coat lose at his sides, the bowler hat balrey staying on from the wind. The other jumped a tall fence, Ed took a running start and came a mere inch short from making it. He ran at it again but this time he aimed to the trash can to the right and hopped over easily. The man had just disappeared around a corner the only thing there was the back doorway to a diner.  
He tried the door, it was unlocked. He snuck inside, noises could be heard from somewhere. He went towards the noise. His travel through the dark kitchen began to go quiet, he knew he missed something. He went back toward the large walk-in coolers the sounds bagan to get loud again. He opened the door to the right and was met with dim lights and music. Smoke filled the hidden room was seemingly packed and then he noticed the mugs on the bar and on each table men and women both mingled inside this area, he had just found one of the many speakeasy's in the town. He seen some of the higher ranking mafia bosses sitting with their mistresses while playing poker. He knew if he tried to break this up he would not make it out alive.  
A black bowler hat caught his eyes, the man threw back a shot of an amber liquid. Ed snuck around trying to not make a scene.   
“Looks good, barkeep one of what he is drinking.”  
“Finally caught up I see.” The man had the blackest of hair and even darker eyes and a smirk that Ed wanted to smack off his face.  
“Trying to apologize since I knocked you with that damn ladder.”  
“Fine, apology accepted, now how about a round on you.”  
“I gave up on the apology after fucking chasing your ass. Now I just want to smack that damn smirk off your face since now I am sweaty as hell. So rounds on you.”  
“Okay I can do that, but afterwards you pay for your own.”  
“Fucking Bastard.”  
“No, Roy is just fine.”  
“Fuck you.”  
“First your name, I don't fuck a nameless man.”  
Ed eyed him in surprise, this man seriously just insinuated sodomy of a police officer. “Do you even know who I am?”  
“No but give me a name and I will.” Roy leaned closer to him.  
The two tumblers with amber liquid arrived. “Ed downed his entire glass in one go, “Call me Ed, and that tastes worse than fucking horse piss.”  
“Well Ed, might I say you look lovely and better covered in sweat. I honestly wanna see more.”  
“Are you really hitting on me? You have noticed the lack of breasts right.”  
“Yes I am trying to pick you up and your lack of breasts does not deter me. Have you never been with a man?”  
“Of course not!” Ed lost a little control and spoke too loudly. The illegal alcohol was starting to kick in.  
“Everyone should try it once, why not give it a go?” Roy picked up the full tumbler and took a big gulp of it. He leaned forward and took ahold of Ed's lips with his own, depositing the liquid inside Eds mouth who quickly swallowed it down. The man's tongue roamed Ed's mouth and withdrew slowly. He gave the tumbler to Ed. “We shouldn't waste it go ahead and drink it and we will leave.”  
Ed didn't know how he did it but somehow he had ended up agreeing to go with this man who could possibly be quite dangerous. He downed the cup and followed Roy's tug at his sleeve.   
At this time the alcohol started to take effect with his now moving body and quickened heart rate. They stepped out of the false cooler and traveled through the kitchen to the dinning area, Ed hardly noticed the other man grab a bottle of liquid off the counter.   
Ed was swung around and placed on one of the larger tables. His befuddled mind went along with the other man's movements. A heated kiss turned into many more. Ed soon felt deft fingers touching his stomach and working their journey up to his rosy buds. They hardened under the mans ministrations it felt unlike any sensation he had felt before. No other had touched them like this man did. He soon felt the weight of his chest holster leave his shoulders and the exposed metal clattered on the tabletop. The man froze for a moment. Ed incited a kiss from the dark haired stranger, unsure of why the man stopped. “Safety's on” he spoke as hands fisted the others coat and melded their lips together again.   
The stranger worked faster at Ed's pants “Do you realize how hot you truly are how badly I want to fuck you right now?”  
“Just shut up and do it bastard!”   
The man had Ed's pants lose and picked him up some for the pants to fall lower down his rear. Soon Ed's boots and pants were on the floor. Ed lay on the table, Roy looked at the man before him. Young and stunning, with police issue holster and guns, and drunk from almost 2 tumblers of the speakeasy's strong house whiskey in a time of prohibition. He grabbed the oil and poured it onto his hand warming it between his fingers, He leaned down and kissed the man while he started to probe his virgin entrance. He continued to probe slowly, he added another finger when he heard the blonde start to moan under him. He slowly started to open him up and then the man let out a beautiful sound and arched his back, his stomach grazing the head of Roy's trapped member. He touched the same spot again and received a moan more beautiful than the last. Roy slid in a 3rd oiled finger and massaged the taunt entrance, he hit it again.  
“Ed I want to fuck you. Now what do you wish from me?” The man beneath him arched again.  
“I wish you would fuck me already you damn bastard!”  
“Your wish will be my command.” Roy unbuttoned his pants and released himself. The cool air in the diner was a reminder that they were in the middle of the restaurant he could see the passerbys along the sidewalk, they took no notice of the 2 men. He warmed the oil in his hand and applied a liberal amount to his member. He slid Ed toward the edge of the table. He leaned over and planted a slow chaste kiss on the mans lips “Ready?” Ed simply nodded . The next kiss was more passionate and served as a distraction for his blunt head intruding into the blondes virgin hole. He must have done his job really well the man beneath him never jerked in discomfort or seemed pained in any way. He bottomed out and stopped there until the man below started moving himself along Roy's shaft. Roy pulled out and dove back in one fell movement, the man below arched his back and babbled incoherently, Roy heard the word again and did they same movement the young blonde arched again. They did this dance again and again, each thrust enticed a louder moan and more incoherent babbling. He watched the man before him unravel and then he was nearly complete and felt the others body convulse inside and watched Ed's white seed coat his upper chest and part of his face. The fabulous view and tightening passageway sent Roy over the edge he finished inside Edward's now abused hole. He felt his legs going weak the closet chair was grabbed and haphazardly slid behind him. He collapsed into the chair and watched the blondes chest move heavily. His feet still propped up on the table, the open hole he had been in now leaking his seed onto the tabletop. He loved the sight of it, he caused another human being immense pleasure and thoroughly gave the man something he wouldn't forget. He sat and watched the man's breathing even out. Sleep had took hold of him and Roy would be the one doing clean up, he did clean the man with towels from the back kitchen dressed him taking the man's badge and ID then deposited him into a booth seat near the back and left a note in his breast pocket.

 

Ed awoke in the Diner with a splitting headache, a waitress brought him a hot cup of coffee and some asprin.   
“Was starting to worry about you sir, want me to get you something for breakfast?”  
Ed must still be a little out of it. “No money sorry.”  
“It's paid for dear so just order.”  
He did and he tried to get up out of the booth and realized he was in some serious pain. He managed to stand and hobble to the restroom. While in there his memory started to process the happenings of the night before and vividly remember the man pounding inside of him. He managed to get up and back to the table- the table where they- Ed wrote a phone number on a paper napkin and asked the waitress to call and have Al pick him up there.  
His brother the lowly angel entered the diner a half hour later. Ed asked for help up in which he received a weird look from his younger sibling. Al helped him hobble to the car and again into the house.   
Ed went towards his room.  
“Ed! No! You reek of I don't know what! Bath now! He was pushed towards the bathroom. Al helped him undress his stiff self. Every muscle ached and he saw Al's eyes widen when his pants dropped to the ground. He looked to see what was wrong, he seen thumb prints from the black haired bastard   
on each hip.  
“Holy cow brother it's on your rear too...” Ed watched Al's eyes widen when he processed what had happened the night before. “Ed we need to get you to the hospital right now, no shower lets go. We will find out who did this to you!”  
Ed slid into the water ignoring his brothers protests and pulls to his arm.  
“I'm not going to the hospital, Al.” Ed pulled the hair tie allowing his hair to shadow his face “It was consensual.” He seen Al still through his rain of golden hair.  
“Brother? You're?” he sounded like he was about to burst out in tears  
“I still like women, just now I also like men.”  
Al hmm'ed and left the room. Ed sunk a little lower in the tub, his everything seemed to hurt. The water finally began to work it's magic and he relaxed into the tub.  
Ed awoke to the sound of paper moving, he looked up to see Al reading the morning newspaper, sitting clothed on the toilet.  
“Didn't want you to drown so I stayed.” Al always so thoughtful. He seen the front page news 'Museum robbed! Police foiled again by The Raven'  
“What is the museum article about?” Ed closed his eyes and waited.  
“The Raven apparently broke in last night stole a moon rock, a jewelry set and some documents that were being processed. He ran off into the night and the cops couldn't catch up they are so out of shape. You should have been there you could have kept up with the guy and arrested him. They are still looking for him.”  
“Oh well, lazy asses won't find him. Help me out of here would ya'” Ed hooked the stopper cord with his toe and yanked it releasing the water. Al did help him out and left the room.  
A slip of paper on the terra cotta floor begged for his attention, he picked it up and unfolded it.  
Officer Elric,   
I have taken something important to you   
I will return it at our next intimate encounter  
The Raven  
“Aww fuck my life.” The chance happenings of him actually catching The Raven was slim, catching him in an illegal bar was preposterous, him getting screwed by the man was unfathomable. The one thing that was good that came out of this- he had gotten a clear view of the mans face. He had his ticket back to his salary in the bag.

**Author's Note:**

> Thinking about continuing this or at least add in one more chapter.


End file.
